October 04, 2011

a peace of sheet

12:24 PM 10/4/2011

Hey, you know what? I'm so proud of myself. Because after all those rejections that I've felt from you (on which you are not aware of), I still manage to smile and have fun even with just little things. I still managed to forget you even for just a little while. But you know how these romantic comedies work. They make you smile, give butterfly feelings in your stomach, cry...and remember...and wish...and dream that someday, those happy endings will also happen in real life. I feel so sad, that right after that moment, you no longer go online that much. I may not be that big of a deal to you but I felt like you are trying to get away from me. And that, by itself, is a simple, painful rejection. I'm trying too hard to stop myself from sending you even just a friendly message, knowing that you're gonna go in just a couple of days now, but for what? It will just be a move that I'll regret in a few months from now. My feelings would be that obvious, or you might think of me negatively, right? I hate crying, though sometimes it felt good. Or maybe it's not crying that I hate. It's the reason for my crying. Oh, crap.


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