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At SM Lanang with bishes to watch Breaking Dawn Part II.

Let's Walk and Remember

Before you start reading, I want you to do this:

- Please play the video below, close your eyes, and listen to the intro while imagining that you're wearing a long white dress, walking down the white-carpeted aisle, holding a bouquet full of roses...

...then you suddenly pricked your finger with the thorns (char. panira lang.)

Please keep the song playing in the background to make it more dramatic, orayt!

Oh.My.Gosh.

Did you watch the Zoren-Carmina Wedding special? In fairness, that was by far the most special wedding that I've ever watched. The effort done by Zoren to profess how much he loves Carmina has really wowed me. It's something that only a man truly in love is capable of doing, and a wedding every woman would want to have.

Any girl would go kilig over something similar to what Zoren did. We girls are mostly hopeful romantics. We were surrounded with magical stories as we grew up, of fairy tales, of knights in shining armor, of living happily ever after. That's one reason why Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey, and The Vampire Diaries are so IN today. We wanted to feel loved, to feel special, to be assured that we are the most beautiful girl in the world. Yet, it seems that the male population's running out of Christian Grey, Edward Cullen, and Damon Salvatore species.

I am not in a commitment, by choice and by chance. Dili ko tantong gwapa and yet I am choosy. I don't plan to be a rich, sophisticated, bitter old maid naman. In fact, I'm a hopeful romantic. I believe in serendipity, in destiny, in soulmates, in right timing, in a spark-at-first-sight, those kinds of things.

This has been long overdue but I guess this is also the perfect time for me to share to you one of my most favorite movies of all time.

I've first watched the movie when I was a college freshman. It then became a favorite. I even used it for my book report in our English class after finding out that the movie was based from a book, although I haven't read the actual book at all because I couldn't afford it. I've read its pdf version 7 years later. I've watched the movie again a year later, and felt that same feeling when I watched it for the first time. And finally, a year later, I was able to read the actual book. And I was again shedding tears. I don't know if it's the book that really got me carried away when in fact I can almost memorize each of the scenes for reading it again. I know that there's something magical with flipping the pages that only bookworms can understand. But I know it's not just it. It's not even it at all. It's the story itself. Just a simple, sweet, young story. It has something in it that always makes me cry. A Walk to Remember, for me, is by far the simplest yet the most special love story I've ever known. So would you want to walk with me and remember it all?

*quotes taken from Nicholas Sparks' novel "A Walk To Remember" and snapshots taken from the movie of the same title

Every woman wants to find the Zoren and the Landon of their life. I can't think of a happy ending here but I wanna leave this thought to all girls who are hurt, confused, committed, letting go or starting again, to always remember that...

from Letters to Juliet

AMALAYER

Sining ng Komunikasyon para sa Unang Baitang
by Bob Ong

FEU Tamaraws, Mapua Cardinals, UP Maroons--unang kita ko sa Twitter kala ko varsity team: AMA Layer? Ano yung layer? Tsk, tsk...pinakabagong viral video pala. Hindi ka man maki-click, mababalitaan mo rin sa evening news. Kaya pinanood ko na. Pero kahit panoorin, nakakalito pa rin. Masyadong bata yung (kontra)bida. Pag pinakinggan mo lang, kala mo declamation sa isang programa sa eskwelahan. Ummm, kahit pala panoorin, declamation pa rin ang dating dahil sa mga galaw. Parang play sa school. Masyadong bata...Nene. Pero natakot kagad si Lady Guard kasi ininglish sya. E sa ordinaryong Pilipino pa naman ang English e parang pagsasaboy ng asin sa kalahating katawan ng manananggal.  Masakit. Sa bagsak ng mga linya ni Nene, isa lang ang naisip ko. "Ito na yon!  Masyado na talagang lunod sa telenovela ang mga Pilipino!"

Pero may isang reaksyon akong nabasa sa Twitter na pinapanigan ko: Na lahat naman daw tayo ay may "boiling point," naging masyado lang masama si Nene dahil may camera...at social network. Pangit ang naging asal nya at sabi nga, "mean people suck," pero kasingsama rin noon ang nauusong kultura sa internet ngayon na sama-samang pambabato sa sino mang nagkakasala. Una, sabi nga, sino ba ang hindi nagkakamali? Pangalawa, ilan kaya sa mga nagbato ng masasakit na salita kay Nene ang handang mamagitan sa pagtatalo at magtanggol kay Lady Guard sakaling nasaksihan nila ang gulo nang personal?  Hindi maganda ang inasta ni Amalayer kay Lady Guard. Pero kung susuklian natin yon ng muhi at masasakit ring salita, wala tayong ipinagkaiba.

Masyadong kumportable para sa marami ang internet para pag-isipan pa ang mga binibitiwang salita. Sa Twitter pa lang, nakakalula na. Meron ako ngayong 48,279 Followers. 16,500 lang ang alam kong capacity ng Araneta Coliseum. 48,279...halos tatlong jam packed na Big Dome!  Ano ang sasabihin mo sa mic sa harap ng ganoon karaming tao?!?

Sa kasamaang palad, marami sa atin ang gumagamit ng social networks na may libu-libong miyembro para magbitaw ng mga salitang hindi nila gugustohing sabihin kahit sa isandaang tao lang, o sa sampu, o sa isa kung makikita ang mga mukha nila.  Karaniwang biktima dito ang mga artista, na anuman ang naging kapalpakan ay wala nang kinalaman sa tunay na ugali ng mga humuhusga.  Kahit ako, tinatablan din ng mga bad book reviews at mga pangit na komento online, pero minsan gusto ko silang paalalahanan na maghinay-hinay konti dahil higit sa kalidad ng trabaho ko ay mas nakikita ang kalidad ng mga katauhan nila base sa pananalita; bagay na alam kong gugustohin nilang pagtuunan ng pansin kung maipapaalam lang sa kanila.

Madaling magsabi ng kung anu-ano online nang di mo na naiisip kung may kabuluhan ba o wala, o kung nabigyan man lang ng hustisya ang mga oil, coal, at natural gas na ginawang kuryente para maiparating sa ibang tao ang saloobin mo.  Masyadong nakakatukso ang Twitter--ang internet--para sundin pa ang pilosopiyang Think Before You click.  Masyadong kombinyente ang social networks sa pagsasalita para kalsohan pa ng pag-iisip.  Madaling makalimot.  Nakakatakot.  Nakakakonsensya.

Alam ko, alam ko, may lugar ang kalokohan sa internet...at dapat lang.  Hindi kailangang lahat na lang e seryoso.  Walang basagan ng trip.  Pero hindi rin ako naniniwalang dapat matapos lang sa ganon ang silbi ng social media.

Manunulat man ako e hindi ko ipinapako sa krus si Tito Sotto sa kasong plagiarism.  Una, dahil wala na tong kinalaman sa RH Bill o anumang seryosong isyu sa bansa. Para syang kontrabidang naghagis ng buto na pinagkaguluhan kagad ng mga humahabol na aso. Kung diverting tactics man yon, nagwagi sya. Pero tingin ko hindi na yon kailangan ng mga Pilipino dahil may attention span tayo na kasinghaba lang ng buhok ni Mr. Clean. Marami ang nagsasabi na pagkakataon na raw ito para putulin ang kasinungalingan sa gobyerno at kawalan ng delicadeza ng mga politiko. Pero nahihiya ako at naawa sa mga kababayan natin sa pinakamahihirap na probinsya na biktima ng mga totoo at seryosong kawalanghiyaan nila Gov at Congressman. Yun nga lang dahil hindi naman viral sa social networks ang mga problema nila, hindi tayo nag-aabalang ikundena ang mga kontrabida.

May iba pang gamit ang online media liban sa panghuhusga.  Bago mo i-share ang litrato ng katulong daw na nanloko, sinigurado mo man lang ba ang pinagmulan nito? Kasi kawawa yung tao na yun kung may nag-trip lang sa kanya--na napakadaling gawin sa internet.

Alam kong nakakatawang isipin na para sa isang taong tulad ko, kumpleto ako sa social networks.  Napilitan akong gawin ito noong umpisa para lang proteksyunan ang sarili--ang mga mambabasa--sa identity theft, o sa pagpapanggap ng iba para sa sarili nilang mga malisyosong interes.  Pagpapanggap man yon para makatikim sila ng konting kasikatan kahit hiram lang; o pagpapanggap na may mas marumi pang intensyon.  Pero salamat na rin sa internet, LALO ko pang nakilala ang Pilipino.

Isang kapansin-pansin sa internet, tabi-tabi po, ay ang dami ng mga may kahinaan sa pag-iisip at tamad magbasa.  Yun bang pagkatapos ng isang patalastas na nagsasabi kung kailan ilalabas ang isang libro, ang unang comment ay: "Wow, sale na ba yan?!?"  ...na sinusundan ng iba pang version ng ganoon ring tanong.  Pero hindi lang sa akin ang ganyang karanasan.  Mag-ikot ka ng Pinoy classified ads online, marami ang may nakasulat na: "Please read everything here before asking questions.  I won't entertain questions that have already been answered here."  ...na alam mong kung magpapakatotoo yung advertiser ay isusulat nya ng "MAGBASA KANG HINAYU@#$ KA BAGO KA MAGTANONG NANG MAGTANONG!"

Yun yung parteng nakakatawa.  Ang parteng nakakalungkot, at talaga namang nakakalungkot, ay ang higanteng imahe ng mga Pilipino na humarap sa akin sa social networks:  Negatibo.  Hard-wired self-deprecating negative-thinking citizens.  Sa mga idea na libre at singko-isang-tumpok na makikita at mababasa sa Facebook at Twitter, sistema man o materyal na bagay, karaniwang comment ng mga Pilipino: "Hindi pwede sa atin yan! LOLz!"  Nakakalungkot dahil pangarap na nga lang, pinipisa pa kagad.  Ang malala pa...mas bata, mas bagsak ang moral:  "Asa pa! Puro kurakot politiko natin e!"  Tapos ang usapan.  Napakadaling manisi.  Ewan ko kung magkano equivalent na grade ng mga ganoong sagot sa essay exams ngayon ng mga estudyante.  "Sana mabasa to ng gobyerno, Bob!" o kaya naman: "Dapat ipadala mo to sa mga kinauukulan!"  Walang nag-iisip na ang pinakaimportanteng kinauukulan ay sya mismo na nagbabasa.  Laging nasa "iba" ang pagbabago, kay "sila" ang pagkukulang, at si "Bob" ang may dapat gawin.  Ang social responsibility ay nauuwi na lang sa simpleng LIKE, SHARE, at pagpapa-TRENDING ng #Amalayer na may kaakakibat na pinakanakakatawang tweet ng pangmamaliit.

Saan man naroroon ngayon si Rizal, alam kong masaya sya.  Dahil hindi nya tayo kasama.

Just saying

Why do you always make me realize how bad my taste with guys was?

It's okay. Not your fault, it's mine.

Thank you for calling. GOODBYE for good!

Stepping into the unknown is something that I am really scared of. I'm used to playing safe. I always have this feeling of dread each time something new is bound to happen and shake the steady flow of my life. I am not the adventurous person I always wanted myself to be. I'm afraid of making mistakes, partly because I'm scared of what other people would say or think of me. Most of the choices I make are usually based not on what I truly want but of what I want others expect of me. It's a sad realization, really, but oh well, it's a flaw that I find very hard to get rid of.

I am now stepping into that unknown. Honestly, it's not because I have changed. Change still creeps me out. I guess you can call this decision a shot in the dark. I am now turning the wheels 180 degrees. I don't know what lies out there but I am leaving what I thought was the ideal life for me. Plush offices, carpeted floors, air-conditioned rooms, busy smart people, the outside noise and morning traffic, late night gimiks, cafe and hotel hopping and a lot of traveling spree - who wouldn't want to live a life like this? I could have been happier if I am also happy with my job. Don't get me wrong. I just can't help this frustration of working so hard and not excelling. This maybe because I am striving more in trying to love my job that to excel in it. That pathetically took three long years. It's just really not for me. So when the chance to get out of it came, I found it logical to grab it. I've been to a lot of places and maybe, just maybe, this will be where I'll find what I've been looking for.

This call center life has transformed me into things I know no other job can do. I am and will always be thankful of the company that has provided me a lot of chances to grow and learn technically and socially. I take no pride of what I've achieved (which I know isn't much), but I do take pride of the knowledge that I have acquired during those three long years as a technical support representative. Not everyone knows how to configure a router, or an access point, or setup those well-known IP cameras or a network attached storage, or even print servers. A far cry from what others believe of what a call center agent does, JUST answer calls.

Letting go is never easy. I will surely miss a lot of things, those cute moments that has made me laugh and cry...

...like the nervousness of taking my very first call for the day. I used to do the sign of the cross before I go on auto-in. It took me six months before getting over it.

...the fingers-crossing each time I pitch for a sale (relate2x!)

...the pride whenever I close an STX sale

...the I-never-though-I-am-techy feeling whenever I fix a surveillance camera or a NAS. That's why I hate print servers.

...the tempting moment of releasing a call from an irate customer

...my numerous don't-mess-with-me attitude with my customer

...the 5-minute eating exercise

...the thrill of escaping from OTs (haha!)

...the moment of getting pissed when I can't piss (oooppps!)

...the numerous pigouts at wee hours of the day

...my dearest BOLTON BLAZE and CADILLAC family

...a few newfound friends in my new account

...my twin bitches QUIEL and TRISHIA (you're what I'll miss the most)

I guess that cool Concentrix black jacket is intended for someone else...I'm going to expand my horizons. I will climb my way up there (in the mountains...hehe). Our fellow countrymen is in need of someone like me to work for the government (char lang!). That might be my calling, not "Thank you for calling". Kidding aside, I never regretted that moment when I applied for a 'technical support representative' position without knowing that I will become a call center agent. My verbal skills are just about average to have the nerve to even think of applying. But I survived. I've had my fair share of recognition and reprimands. If not because of the people I've worked with and the compensation, I wouldn't have lasted for three years in the BPO industry. I'm not closing doors but I don't wanna go back as much as possible. I guess it's time to stop and use my other cards. I don't know if I made the right decision but I will never know the answer to that unless I gamble.

My last logout =)

Well, this is it! Once again, thank you for calling. GOODBYE for good!