Stepping into the unknown is something that I am really scared of. I'm used to playing safe. I always have this feeling of dread each time something new is bound to happen and shake the steady flow of my life. I am not the adventurous person I always wanted myself to be. I'm afraid of making mistakes, partly because I'm scared of what other people would say or think of me. Most of the choices I make are usually based not on what I truly want but of what I want others expect of me. It's a sad realization, really, but oh well, it's a flaw that I find very hard to get rid of.
I am now stepping into that unknown. Honestly, it's not because I have changed. Change still creeps me out. I guess you can call this decision a shot in the dark. I am now turning the wheels 180 degrees. I don't know what lies out there but I am leaving what I thought was the ideal life for me. Plush offices, carpeted floors, air-conditioned rooms, busy smart people, the outside noise and morning traffic, late night gimiks, cafe and hotel hopping and a lot of traveling spree - who wouldn't want to live a life like this? I could have been happier if I am also happy with my job. Don't get me wrong. I just can't help this frustration of working so hard and not excelling. This maybe because I am striving more in trying to love my job that to excel in it. That pathetically took three long years. It's just really not for me. So when the chance to get out of it came, I found it logical to grab it. I've been to a lot of places and maybe, just maybe, this will be where I'll find what I've been looking for.
This call center life has transformed me into things I know no other job can do. I am and will always be thankful of the company that has provided me a lot of chances to grow and learn technically and socially. I take no pride of what I've achieved (which I know isn't much), but I do take pride of the knowledge that I have acquired during those three long years as a technical support representative. Not everyone knows how to configure a router, or an access point, or setup those well-known IP cameras or a network attached storage, or even print servers. A far cry from what others believe of what a call center agent does, JUST answer calls.
Letting go is never easy. I will surely miss a lot of things, those cute moments that has made me laugh and cry...
...like the nervousness of taking my very first call for the day. I used to do the sign of the cross before I go on auto-in. It took me six months before getting over it.
...the fingers-crossing each time I pitch for a sale (relate2x!)
...the pride whenever I close an STX sale
...the I-never-though-I-am-techy feeling whenever I fix a surveillance camera or a NAS. That's why I hate print servers.
...the tempting moment of releasing a call from an irate customer
...my numerous don't-mess-with-me attitude with my customer
...the 5-minute eating exercise
...the thrill of escaping from OTs (haha!)
...the moment of getting pissed when I can't piss (oooppps!)
...the numerous pigouts at wee hours of the day
...my dearest BOLTON BLAZE and CADILLAC family
...a few newfound friends in my new account
...my twin bitches QUIEL and TRISHIA (you're what I'll miss the most)
I guess that cool Concentrix black jacket is intended for someone else...I'm going to expand my horizons. I will climb my way up there (in the mountains...hehe). Our fellow countrymen is in need of someone like me to work for the government (char lang!). That might be my calling, not "Thank you for calling". Kidding aside, I never regretted that moment when I applied for a 'technical support representative' position without knowing that I will become a call center agent. My verbal skills are just about average to have the nerve to even think of applying. But I survived. I've had my fair share of recognition and reprimands. If not because of the people I've worked with and the compensation, I wouldn't have lasted for three years in the BPO industry. I'm not closing doors but I don't wanna go back as much as possible. I guess it's time to stop and use my other cards. I don't know if I made the right decision but I will never know the answer to that unless I gamble.
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| My last logout =) |
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