Radar Trainee Confessions

Taken at the back of our shower room, este office. Sorry, may mga sinasabon kasi dun sa loob. Haha. Introduction/pasilip to my plan of writing about our experiences as radar trainees. It won't be a post about our complaints. Takot ko lang. Haha! But seriously, it will be like a compilation of stories of our battles and struggles as trainees that we normally voice out over plates of food and bottles of *cough* water. Don't worry, I'll thread lightly. Haha. Well, we actually talk about those moments and ended up laughing. Not that we don't take our work seriously. Believe me, we fucking do! (Please don't get me wrong, omg. Mapapahamak ba ako neto?) I think it'll be a funny post. I was inspired when I once again read the speech I wrote about our training days (ibang training din yun. Andami dba bes?!) I know our radar training days will be over soon so I wanna put those memories into writing para may mapagtawanan din kami when the time comes. Natatawa kasi ako habang binabasa yung graduation speech namin nung training. Proud na proud pa nung gumraduate kami. Yung tipong, "Hello world, we're ready for you!"  ang feeling. Maiiyak ka sa pride and joy. Tengene, hindi kami naorient na iiyak kami ng dugo 3 yrs after. May mas hihirap pa pala dun bes! 😭 😂

So, yun. Next post soon!

#radartraineeconfessions
#abanganangsusunodnakabanata
#postatrisk
#nsfw

10202017

A lot of people don't really know or understand what I do for a living.  When I passed the training, our neighbors seriously thought that my parents finally have a pilot for a daughter. I used to tell people that I work in CAAP as an air traffic controller. Over time, I realized that both my workplace and my work are both jargons to almost everyone. So, to make things easier, I just say I work at the airport. When I had the chance, I brought my parents to my workplace because it's easier to just let them observe what I do because I struggled explaining to them my work.

03242017

That moment when,after filling up a form needed for your item, you realized that you're just 5-digit worth. And a very low 5-digit value at that. #Adulting???!!!

10132017

A message from a former officemate asking me where she would find one of my previous entries opted me to write a new one. It made me happy that somehow someone finds my posts worth reading or entertaining. I'm not the most creative writer. I just write out of boredom. It also helps me practice my grammar because my work sometimes destroys it. Ha. Ha.

I am an air traffic controller. Don't ask me what that is yet. I can't find the right words to explain it and it can be lengthy. Anyway, our work uses phraseologies to communicate with pilots and fellow controllers. So we use phrases, which means that they're not sentences, which means there are no subjects and predicates, so technically they don't express a complete thought. But, when you're in the aviation industry, sentences are a n

12112017

I hate this feeling when my hand's itching to get ahold of a pen and write every word that floats in my head. My head feels like exploding, it wants to pour out all those thoughts that's been consuming me these past years. All these years were so overwhelming, time is so overwhelming, the situation is so overwhelming, all of it drains my strength. But I can't seem to start. I can't seem to figure out what those words are. It's making me uncomfortable and excited at the same time.

Self-righteousness

It's Holy Monday and I ate pork. Did I already commit a sin? I am a Catholic. I go to church once in a while. I am not a devotee. I used to be a church organist. I sometimes attend praise and worship sessions. But I am naive when it comes to the doctrines and church laws. But I pray. A lot.

Just earlier, my colleague reprimanded me because my dinner is pork. I told her I didn't have any other food and asked her if it's bot allowed. She said that it is if you're a devoted Catholic. She then went to my other officemate ans started a chismis.

I'm getting so tired with these self-righteous people. They always think that they're a better person because they go to church regularlu and that they observe the religious practices. That's why my faith towards my religion somehow weakened because of these very people. They talk about other people, judge other people and condemn other people. Who are we to judge? Who are we to elevate ourselves from the rest because we think we know better? Who are we to impose our own rules and beliefs to someone else? We're just mere humans. I hope we put more value to our faith than our religion.

06162017

I can't believe that our youngest brother is now 22 years old today. Time just flies so damn fast. Funny how these realizations bring you memories of your childhood.

10142017

You are not obliged to do anything to people you don't like. Just roll your eyes and you'll be fine.

10082017

It's a sad, toxic place.

0831217

Boyfie's birthday gift is a 32in television. Haha

01032017

As you grow older, you learn to choose who and what your priorities are. You become more aware of what you wanna do with your life and who you wanna be with. Your circle of friends starts to become smaller, your social interaction becomes shorter, your hours are spent more on the few people that really matter to you. It may be a sign of growing up. You no longer have the desire to please anybody, to show off, to be in, to be accepted because you are already at ease of what you are and you're sure that your family and true friends will accept you and will be there for you no matter what.

A lot of people get pressured when they reach 25. They say it's the right time to get married and have kids. That's why others get fucked up because they seem to be living with a time bomb above their head. You make mistakes when you hurry. And when you do, you get frustrated and feel that life is over for you. Maybe that's why there's what they call a "quarter-life crisis". I don't believe in it. It is just an excuse of 25 year olds to get away with the pressure of what an early adult must have, a stable career, a strong relationship, a healthy savings, etc. When they commit mistakes, when they feel frustrated, when they wanna get away with responsibilities, they blame it on their age. When I was 25, I was busy burning my ass off to pass the training. When I was 26, I was busy studying for my licensure. And now, I am busy redecorating my hive and planning of binge-watching. I didn't have any big-time moment of breakdown. I don't know. It could be me being lucky or I just don't give a fuck.

A Letter to Imee

Hi imee,

God thinks you're awesome. You're loving. You love and care about your family a lot that's why you have become responsible. You work so hard so you can give enough allowances to your brothers. Most of your friends want you to be their bridesmaid and that's saying something. You are talented. You sing well, you play the keyboard quite well, you're good at calligraphy and you have a knack in photography. You want to know more about your work. You have become more patient than you were before. You are a good furparent. You are a loyal girlfriend. You have everything: a loving and supportive family, a sexy and an amazing boyfriend, hardworking brothers, an awesome job, a beautiful room and a fluffy and beautiful cat. You have a lot to forward to. Most of all, God loves you and believes in you. You are amazing, Imee. Continue to shine. 😊

Love,
Imee 😊

Social people

Now that I think about it, I realized how lonely people can be. They seek too much attention, they brag about what they can, and they seem to want to be admired too much. Maybe that's the reason why a lot of people turn their attention on social media. Because that's where they can be someone they just aspire to be, or what they want others see of them. They can filter rhe negative and highlight the positive. However, it's sometimes becoming so pathetic. Their life's like becoming an entertainment. Not in a positive way, though.